Ariel because it's easy to read, large font for the same reason!

Just what you wanted to know about! How to have a colonoscopy!

First: get a need, a reason, a justification that will satisfy both your doctor and your insurance provider.

Second: schedule it while keeping it a secret from prying eyes of truly concerned people while the fact your your trial by fire is being shared with friends by those you love.

Third: take your Fleets; once at 9 AM, again at 3 PM; eat nothing, drink only clear liquids (no reds), realize that it does no good to drink anything.

Fourth: show up at the out-patient clinic no later than 6 AM, fill out the HIPA paper work again. Make sure the receptionist knows how you reacted to the anesthetic last time (wild hallucinations in vivid electric pastels, severe nausea, and two day hangover).

Fifth: take off your clothes and don one of those thin reverse housecoats that cover nothing important, and lay down on the gurrney. The nurse will cover you with a nice blankie, and get you as many pillows as you want; not that it will matter in a few minutes anyway.

Sixth: take blood pressure, and listen to obscure mutterings about those numbers which are dutifully recorded.

Seventh: wanting to start your IV, nurse Ratchett will now look for a good vein in your arm. The fact that you've had nothing to drink for over 15 hours does not help this process. Not finding one in your arm, vampire Ratchett will now start the IV in the back of your hand, saying "This might burn just a little." When you faint (even though you are laying down) Nurse will bring you a cold wash cloth and watch you anxiously, and ask if you are feeling any better.

Eighth: With the IV successfully inserted, Nurse will now connect you to an IV bag with mystery fluid in it, sodium something-or-other.

Ninth: Nurse will now wheel you down endless mazes of corridors and into the "treatment room." What a treat: seeing a black hose about four feet long, and about an inch in diameter, with a camera/ light in it's end. You soon recognize the pattern in the video display as the trays and tools on the shelf by the wall; good, the camera is operational. Hmm, you wonder, does their autoclave work and is it big enough to fit that thing into it.

Tenth: Doctor comes in and asks you again about the anesthesia, and how you are feeling, and why are you there (like he doesn't know)? And please turn up on your left side, please. Then the lights go out.

When you wake up, you have vague memories of Sprite in your mouth, and something about someone helping you get dressed (underwear ain't happening). Later your daughter tells you that they poured you into the wheelchair, and from the wheelchair into the car, and you wonder how she got you from the car into her apartment and into that favorite old recliner, where you sleep off the remainder of the anesthesia. When you really wake up, you begin with a large bowl of Jello, followed by crackers, and soon, real food.

When you go back to talk to your doctor about the test results, you ask him if he has ever had the joy of a colonoscopy. No? He should really have one before he prescribes one for any more of his patients.

No, the effects of the Fleets is temporary and the weight loss is not permanent, even though the after-taste of the Fleets lingered for days.

We'll see about doing it again in eight years, even though this one was only a two year's interval.

God is great,
God is good,
and we thank Him
for His love.

Tim