God Bless this Mess!

When I was assigned to the 301st IS, in Misawa, JA, I often offered the prayers for events surrounding promotion ceremonies and similar things. One of those events was a promotion dinner for newly selected promotees to the rank of Master Sergeant.

I was asked to give the invocation for the dinner. This was a fun evening, and my invocation reflected the fun. The prayer was so outrageous that I had people looking at me with raised eyebrows all evening. Here is that prayer:

LET US PRAY TOGETHER,

DEAR GOD, THIS MESS ASKED ME TO GIVE THE INVOCATION FOR OUR GATHERING. SO GOD, I ASK YOU TO BLESS THIS MESS!!
I ASK FOR A SPECIAL ENDOWMENT FOR THESE MASTER AIRMEN, BECAUSE THEY'RE SURE GONNA NEED IT! SO GOD, BLESS THIS MESS!!
LORD, YOU KNOW BETTER THAN I CAN SAY HOW MUCH THIS MESS NEEDS A BLESSING FROM YOU. SOME OF US NEED YOUR BLESSING BECAUSE WE ARE UGLY, SOME OF US BECAUSE WE ACT UGLY; AND SOME OF US NEED MORE OF A BLESSING THAN OTHERS. SO GOD, BLESS THIS MESS!!
BECAUSE WE KNOW WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE WE REALLY ARE, WE AGREE WITH THE WRITER OF PSALMS (75:6-7) THAT "PROMOTION COMES NEITHER FROM THE EAST, NOR FROM THE WEST, NOR FROM THE SOUTH, BUT GOD IS THE JUDGE: HE PUTS DOWN ONE, AND SETS UP ANOTHER." SO, IF WE HAVE BEEN SET UP LORD, IT'S YOU THAT HAVE PROMOTED US. SO GOD, BLESS THE MESS YOU SET UP!!
WHILE WE ARE HAVING FUN CELEBRATING THE PROMOTIONS OF OUR FRIENDS AND COMRIDES, WE ALSO WANT TO THANK YOU THAT THE LAST OF OUR COMRADES-IN-ARMS ARE SAFELY OUT OF SAMOLIA. WE ALSO ASK FOR YOUR CARE AND BLESSING FOR OUR COMRADES WHO ARE NOW HELPING THE REFUGEES OF ROWANDA. WHAT A MESS MANKIND BRINGS UPON HIMSELF!
WHILE I'M ASKING FOR BLESSINGS LORD, I'D LIKE A SPECIAL BLESSING FOR DAVID S. PRICE, CHIEF MASTER SERGENT, USAF, TAKEN PRISONER OF WAR ON 11 MARCH 1968 IN LAOS. I ASK THAT YOU COMFORT HIS FAMILY. I ASK FOR REMEMBERANCE OF HIS SACRIFICE, AND THAT OF THOUSANDS OF OTHERS LIKE HIM, BY THE LEADERS OF OUR NATION. OH GOD, PLEASE BLESS THIS MESS.
OH YEAH LORD, BLESS THE RUBBER CHICKEN AND HAMBURGER (steaks) WE'RE ABOUT TO EAT. SO GOD, BLESS THIS MESS!!
AMEN!!